The Power of How

 

Midweek Faith Lift

August 1, 2018

                                                                                                                                                    The Power of HOW   

                                                                                                                                                   Teresa Propes, Guest Speaker

 

I am so blessed to be able to share a piece of myself with you.

Sharing life lessons with each other is an important part of being a community.   You’ve all heard that saying “you don’t have to make all the mistakes yourself, if you can learn from others’.  “Have you tried playing with the English language?  There are so many fun and interesting nuances.

We all know that language is powerful.  Especially in Unity we know that words have power.  Because the words we use and words we hear induce certain feelings in our bodies, and those feelings produce certain hormones.  There are obviously powerful “big” words like I WILL vs I Might, and Blessed vs Cursed, right?  Then there are also these little and powerful words:Such as ‘to’ vs ‘til’ –

When Phil worked at the water plant in Ames, his boss wanted him to be absolutely sure to attend the city council meeting that week.  “Don’t be late” he told Phil, plan on 5 to 7,  and be ready to answer lots of questions, this is a very Important Council meeting!   Naturally, Phil got there early – at 20 til 7.  Only to find the City Council meeting adjourning.  Luckily his boss happened to make a similar mistake just a few days later.  One little word, a little inflection, or a misplaced comma, can make a really big difference in what we do with that information

Here are a few examples:

Most of the time travelers worry about their luggage.

Let’s eat grandpa.

We’re going to learn to cut and paste kids

Kid: “where’s my baseball cap?”  Mom: “it’s in the suitcase with grandma”

Just this morning my granddaughter said to Phil “can you put my shoe on?” and Phil replied “It looks a little too small for me but I’ll try”.

 A simple – little word can majorly change what you DO, like 5 to 7 vs 5 til 7

There’s also But vs And

Brain research has been published that shows when the word “but” is used in a sentence, people focus on the part after the “but” and tend to completely forget the first part of the sentence.

It’s sad but true -   It’s sad and true

He tried but failed – He tried and failed

He was small but strong -  he was small and strong

Can you sense what happens in your brain and your other senses when I say and instead of but?  Do you feel that little powerful difference?

Wood floats but iron sinks – Wood floats and iron sinks

“Small but strong” minimizes the whole concept we want to express, whereas “small and strong” empowers the boy we’re describing.

And the little words I want to share with you today 

Why vs How

Do you remember the TV show Touched by an Angel?

There is a very powerful episode called Jones vs God, where the Angel, Monica, is assigned to help a small town in turmoil because a drought is causing everyone to leave for “better” lands, including a local farmer’s only child.   The farmer’s wife died a few years earlier and he did NOT want his daughter to leave too. 

He was a man of great faith so he prayed fervently for rain. The drought was causing businesses to close up, entire families to sell their land at major losses and pick up roots.  People are praying “please show us your mercy, open up the skies and give us rain”

There’s a scene where the farmer is praying aloud “ ! WHY !!  WHY !! Why? God“

He prayed fervently and felt he never got an answer from God.  So, he decided to file a lawsuit against God for the damage “he” inflicted on him, and on the whole town for that matter.  Townsfolk soon heard about the lawsuit.  The trial brought out people who thought the farmer was way off base by filing such a lawsuit against God for heaven’s sake, as well as people who agreed that God had let them down and agreed with the farmer.  People showed up that had never met before even though they were neighbors, some people were in the court who had previous disagreements and found they agreed on this issue and started to talk to each other again.

At the trial the angel Monica is on the stand and testifying about her experience of God sending her with messages for the people to whom she appears.  The trial lawyer asks angel Monica “Why is God giving us this drought?”  Angel Monica says “I don’t know”.  The trial lawyer presses her wondering if she’s really a messenger of God.  She says “has anyone asked for Guidance?  There are may gifts God wants to give you.  To you prayers asking God to send rain now, the answer is “no”.  There is no answer to your prayer of “Why”.”

Farmer Jones says “I was truly hoping for an answer from the angel messenger.  If the answer to our prayers is NO we’ll just accept whatever, that’s it, it’s over”,  the farmer turns to the many people who have come to support the town whether or not they agreed with his efforts to save the town, and thanks them, many of them people he did not know before this trial. 

As the trial is closing a towns-woman says “if we’re going to just let this town die, I’d like to invite everyone to a potluck picnic – a sort of memorial lunch for the town.  If you don’t have enough to share with others, please still come, together we always figure out how to have enough for everyone.”

At the picnic, the whole town forms a circle, holds hands, people who never talked before, much less broke bread together, joined hands and they prayed together.  Some people said they were grateful for this trial bringing the people of the town together.  

And then it started to rain. 

The angel Monica says “ while you were praying for God to send rain to save your town, God said ‘that’s not what your town needs in order to be saved, you need each other to do that’.   While you were busy asking for God to send rain, you never asked for guidance.  Farmer Jones, you did not want to loose your farm and your daughter, you never asked God “please show us HOW we can keep our friends and neighbors businesses from closing, HOW can we keep our friends and neighbors in town and prosper here?” 

 

The difference between 2 words – Why and How

I have my very own similar study in why vs how I’d like to share with you as well.

Have you ever stood in the middle of your room or in the shower and screamed,

“Why ME God?   WHY now?   Why does this always happen to me when I try so hard?” …

Boy, I have.   I was on a 3 year “Why Me?” pity party at one time in my life.  I had an extremely unfulfilling job working for extremely ungrateful bosses who expected me to work one week each month out of town, overnight away from my family. Then my sister died and I was feeling pressured to leave my wonderful small town of Ames to go back to a dingy, big city to take care of my mom.  I was having panic attacks, the kids had left home for college, and one year everyone including my mom forgot my birthday.  Phil could not understand why I was so unhappy. 

So, one day I hopped in my car and went on what I called “a head trip”.  I was driving in the hills of Kentucky asking God “Why me, why me, why me, what did I ever do?”  I stopped for a while in many cute little towns, looked around, and prayed, “Would I be happy here?”  In one town that seemed very nice, I actually applied for a job.  The owner of the business talked with me, and then his administrative assistant talked with me.  She explained what working for him was like: “he has so much on his mind he depends on us to keep his life together for him, and sometimes he drinks too much. He even forgot his daughter’s birthday last week”.

You know my reaction? – “Different town, same crap!”.    After stopping in 10 or 12 towns, and this “interview”, I had a revelation: “I don’t think it matters if I’m in a small town or a big city, I just need to drive back home.”  Then I realized “The problem is I don’t know where or what home is”.   

When I got back to my house in Ames, Phil of course asked me what I’d found on my head trip.  I cried and cried because I hadn’t found anything!  NO ANSWERS at all !  I still don’t know WHY my life sucks.

And I asked him “HOW IS MY LIFE EVER GOING TO CHANGE?”

That sentence repeated in my mind over and over and over for the next several weeks. 

HOW IS MY LIFE EVER GOING TO CHANGE?

And answers started coming to me, angel messengers: 

How about not working 16 hours every day of the week?

Tell your doctor what’s going on.

Get counseling.

Take singing lessons.

Try meditation.

Every time an answer came to me I did it.

It was at “try meditation” that I found Unity Church of Ames, and from Unity Church of Ames, I found Unity International.

During one “How Me?”  prayer I took a walk downtown on a different route than I usually took and walked by a sign that said “Meditation, 6:30 Wednesdays”.  I was having trouble with “try meditation” and it occurred to me that if they had meditation every week they probably had people who could show me how.  That Wednesday is when I met Reverend Heather and the beginning of a life of learning how. 

Naturally, it isn’t a church or a building or a meeting that make a major life change in a person.  It’s the people, the community, it’s all of you – that answered the HOW for me.

How my life changed! 

I’ve never said “Why Me?” again; no more pity parties.  Don’t get me wrong, I get sad now and then. 

I am consistently empowered by HOW ME, God.  Guide me, let’s do this, what is mine to do today?  I’m ready.

Now I have big dreams, I’ve realized big dreams, and I know that I’ll always be shown how to do what is mine to do.  

Unity Church of Ames has Big Hairy Audacious Dreams and is praying “How will we make a big hairy audacious difference in this community and in the world?”  “How will we do what is ours to do?”  Every committee is seeking “how will we inspire others to help us in this audacious dream to do what is ours to do?”  And every person is also wondering “how will I be able to help make a big hairy audacious difference?”

The wonderful thing is that a BIG dream like this brings people together to make it happen.  

We’re also done with the pity parties.  This audacious dream has been given to us – it is ours to do.  HOW can we do it, how can we make a big difference in people’s lives (exactly like the difference you made in mine !)

Blessings on the Path,

Teresa P. with much gratitude from Rev. Deb!